A poem by me to describe how a rigorous public schooling system has many downsides, and too many overlooked upsides, albeit the positives are all too rare.
I liked this piece. I do not know much about poetry so I'm really not good at giving meaningful feedback. I also enjoyed the two fantasy excerpts I read, Heights and Bleeding Feet. The only thing I would consider adding is getting into the weeds on describing Baasim taking off his socks. I don't know if you have ever bled in your sock and shoe but I figure just about everyone has. What I remember most is how I had to peel my sock off and it hurt like hell to do so because the blood had dried and glued it to my foot. It also made a soft almost velcro like sound but that could have been my imagination. I really enjoyed it though.
I liked this piece. I do not know much about poetry so I'm really not good at giving meaningful feedback. I also enjoyed the two fantasy excerpts I read, Heights and Bleeding Feet. The only thing I would consider adding is getting into the weeds on describing Baasim taking off his socks. I don't know if you have ever bled in your sock and shoe but I figure just about everyone has. What I remember most is how I had to peel my sock off and it hurt like hell to do so because the blood had dried and glued it to my foot. It also made a soft almost velcro like sound but that could have been my imagination. I really enjoyed it though.
So deep and beautiful <3
Thank you for sharing!